manuscripts and the relationships we have with them

Ah! That feeling you get when you work on a new manuscript because an idea popped into your head while you were supposed to be studying for a midterm. Damn.

But back to the point! I keep going from this new manuscript to my very first one though, trying to rework it. You see, my first manuscript is my baby: an 80,000-word YA Fantasy series that I worked on developing for about ten years. The second manuscript in the series has a draft, and was soon to be edited when I decided to temporarily put the first one on the shelf.

I had taken that decision because series are hard to have published when you’re new to the industry. I figured I should get one manuscript out there so that it might be a little easier to have publishers trust that my series is worth taking a chance on if I already have a novel out there (that is, hopefully, doing well!)

Anyways, it’s hard to work on new manuscripts, because it often feels like I’m betraying the first one. I’m also aware at how attached I am to it, like it’s a living entity that I must protect. I can take the critic on it though, because I want it to be the best it can be, but it’s difficult to detach when I think of it never being published…it sends me into a dark depressing hole.

I want to believe that the more I write other manuscripts, the better I’ll get, and that by the time I go back to the first one, I’ll be able to edit the crap out of it and make it awesome! (deep down inside, I’ll always think that my writing sucks though, haha!)

What about you? Have you ever gone back to one of your first manuscripts? Do you feel attached to some of them more than others you’ve written?

I’d love to hear from all of you!


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