At a Standstill with #writing

I recently finished writing my latest manuscript, but now, I’m at a sort of stop. I’m still querying my paranormal mystery, but lately, I feel like it might need a professional editing in order to make it more publishable – I mean, it’s gone through seventy edits already, but now I feel like it needs that final push into the inside of the publishing world in order to make it marketable. Now, without any money whatsoever, that isn’t possible, so it’s being queried, but I somehow feel like it won’t ever go anywhere at this point. I’m also thinking that I won’t be putting it through anymore twitter pitching contests because it’s been seen since August 2014, and either it’s already been rejected by the publishers and agents participating, or the ones that I haven’t queried to aren’t checking those contests – so #DVpit will be the last time MY SOUL TO GIVE is entered into pitching contests.

As for my dark fantasy romance, FROZEN HEARTS, it’s ready to query (in my opinion), but I can’t seem to write a synopsis for this one. I mean, it was challending enough to condense 89K into a one-page summary, but 105K…I just can’t get it right at all. And with the previous manuscript, I had help, here and there, and also had a little more money back then and paid about 75$ to get it into basic good shape. But now, again with no funds, I find myself stuck. I’ve read a lot of online tips, tricks and advice on how to write synopsis, I get the idea, I know what my basic story is, but it’s still not coming to me for some reason. So I had decided I’ll write some pitches for this manuscript, to start entering this one in pitching contests instead, but I’m coming up even more blank than with the synopsis! Either it sounds boring, or there’s more than 140 characters. It’s…frustrating, to say the least.

And as for the finished manuscript (another dark fantasy romance), it’s going through beta readings, so for now, I’m just leaving it alone. I’m also unsure about this one since it received a negative feedback, and I’m wondering if I made a mistake in writing it in first-person POV (my first time, really). The constant pondering on whether that whole 105K was a mistake is eating away at me.

I was writing a new paranormal mystery (first-person POV, unreliable narrtor), and the no-future of my paranormal mystery hangs over me as my dark fantasy manuscript lies there with no synopsis or pitches, and my contsant self-doubt about the newest manuscript is almost crippling me into not knowing what the hell to do anymore. I can’t seem to write at all because I just feel the others looming over me like giant failures that’ll never get published because I write in genres that aren’t good for the market, and I don’t have the money to take that extra, final steps to have them edited professionally for publishing.

So now, I’m at a standstill, and I’m not writing. At all. *sigh*

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2 thoughts on “At a Standstill with #writing

  1. Hi. I came by following a link to try looking over your beta read for your adult dark fantasy romance. Instead, I found despair.

    So I thought I’d critique your despair. Gotta critique something, right?

    First of all, it’s a semi-kind of despair. I’m not really seeing a ‘throwing in the towel’ type of finality to it, I think there’s door left open somewhere near the back of the smoky room. A small crack. If a whisper were heard from beyond that portal, I have the suspicion that your writerly fires would be lit anew. I don’t think you’re really done and I don’t think you believe it either.

    So you have 2 books, MY SOUL TO GIVE and FROZEN HEARTS. Sounds like you didn’t quit at the end of the first book when it wasn’t sold. Why are you quitting after the second one? Did something worse than ‘nobody opted to rep me’ happen after the second one? OH is it that nobody opted to rep you for two books in a row.

    How about this. My God, you wrote two full books?!?! I believe learning how to write well is a lifelong chore – not mastered in days, or weeks but in years. I think if you read Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’, you’d also see that writing isn’t about making money. His viewpoint is much different than that.

    Why’d you write the second book if the first didn’t sell? That’s why you’ll write the third. And the fourth. I promise you’ll learn more every time you have a go at it. Maybe down the road someone will notice you and give you a fat check for all your hard work but how many stories in your head won’t see the light of day if you wait for that to happen first?

    “Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there but those that sang best.” Henry Van Dyke.

    Kevin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol! Thank you for your critique of my feelings – definitely different! 😉

      As of right now, I’m holding off on the beta reading (haven’t had the chance to delete from AW, but I’m pretty sure I deleted from Twitter) as I’m having two of my CPs read through it before going more public. 😉

      You’re right: it’s certainly not full despair, nor was it meant to be. As the title says, it’s a standstill – a writer’s block, if you will. I’m certainly not done writing, but I can’t seem to actually work on anything either. To be honest, sometimes, I do think of quitting the whole writing thing, but I can’t… The only time I’ll ever be able to stop is because I have to (see why I might have to in previous posts)

      I have 3 books I’d like to publish right now, but a total of 21 manuscripts since I started writing at the age of 15 – the others are more personal or just wrote them for fun, never meant for publishing. MY SOUL TO GIVE is really the first one I’d like published, out of them all, but beggers can’t be choosers, so now I’m slowly starting to query FROZEN HEARTS while my UNTITLED manuscript is going through my two CPs (as mentioned above). I had to keep busy while querying MSTG, so I wrote FH – I wasn’t giving up, but I’m starting to wonder if it’ll ever be published. I think the reason why I’m starting to hit despair more than ever with MSTG, is because I’m slowly running out of publishers to query, and now realized that after participating in twitter pitches since August 2014, I should probably stop trying to pitch that manuscript through those means. Basically, I think it’s because I’m running out of options for this manuscript, and after working on it for a long time, going over 70 rounds of edits, 3 rewrites, and a revision, it just feels depressing to shelf it.

      As I wrote in the above paragraph, I’ve been writing since I’m 15 years old, and have written 21 manuscripts. Am I proud? Yes. Am I getting to the point where I’m wondering why I’m still writing despite hardly having enough time anymore and the little time I have could be used for something else, and that obviously, I’m not getting published? Also, yes. Writing certainly isn’t about making money, but getting published is something else entirely, for me – it’s my dream to get traditionally published, so while it’s never been about the money, it’s certainly is 50% of my motivation.

      Again, I was writing to keep busy as I queried. So many of my stories will never see the light of day, and that’s okay with me because those were never meant to be published, but MSTG is important to me, and even more so that it’s published. It’s hard to explain why, but it just is.

      So again, thank you for your critiques of my feelings – I certainly enjoyed reading, and hope my reply answered some of your thoughts and comments 🙂

      Like

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